Because sometimes we need to slow down….

Stones,

I am feeling incredibly ill today. Luckily, I work from home so there’s not too much strain on me. Just trying to meet deadlines. It’s so much work, but it’s worth it. So right now I’m tackling three projects.

The first is my blog, that is still under construction. If I’m being completely honest, I have no idea how to make this blog do what I want it to do. I want it to bring in sales. I want it to be cool and edgy. I also need to develop a community that shares interest and talks to each other about reading and writing and different books and my work as well because I need all the critiques I can get.

The second one is my trying to get my book published. I might go with a real publisher this time or I might have to go with self-publishing and pay for better marketing.  Marketing is a personal enemy of mine. I don’t get it and I’m not a very sociable person. I don’t quite know how to show myself friendly. This is why I’m a writer to avoid these things. But I still have to learn to make myself marketable.

The third and last project I’m working is the business that I am opening up.  It’s called Hollisway Comforts and it pays homage to my father in the name.  It’s a business that I started with my fiance’ and I will sell handmade crocheted goods. Because I crochet all the items myself, it’s a slow process but it’s worth it.

So are the three things that plague me at the moment, that being sick will not help at all. Not to mention being a mother and being a soon-to-be-wife.  I have a lot on my plate.  But I believe I can do it. That’s all for today.

Until next we meet

Bleed and exist,

S.Hollisway

Pick up Scarred and Faceless

Because sometimes Odes are due….(Part 1)

Stones,

This is a poem I wrote for my son.

Until next we meet

Bleed and Exist,

S.Hollisway

Ode to Mommy’s Monster
For you, I’ll face a thousand demons
Battle any inconvenience
Rip apart
Every wound and scar
Because it’s you that owns Mommy’s heart
And I hate to see you cry
It rips me in two
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do
To shield you from my regrets and mistakes
Because the path you’ll take
Is filled with your own
I wish I would guard you against them
But that’s a battle you’ll never face alone
So I say
Be brave
And keep that smile upon your brilliant face
You’ve always made mommy proud
Without trying
And Now
It’s time for Mommy to return the favor
And join you
For Mommy knows you were born for greatness
But Mommy can’t set the path for you
It’s for you to choose
To be a champion in your own right
Painful it might
Be
But for me
I’m proudest when watching you fly
And when you’re designing your blueprint at night
With your dreams
Not mine
To My Child
With a mile long smile
I, your mommy
Will always be proud

 

Scarred and Faceless

Because sometimes passions fall short…(Breathe)

Stones,

So, I’m working on my second book. And it’s…draining, to say the least. When creating something, you put a piece of yourself inside of your work. Whether you are a photographer, painter, drawer, dancer, singer, writer, etc, we are all artist. Putting yourself out there is so ridiculously scary.  It’s like putting yourself on display for everyone to see. Because that’s exactly what we’re doing. It’s horrifying letting people in like that because who wants to be that vulnerable ever?

So why do we do it?

There is this thing inside of me,  inside of all of us. Our need to create. Our need to explore. Our need to test boundaries and open ourselves up to exposure and criticism. It’s doesn’t come from a sane place. It comes from a place of chaos and need that is suppose to make us sane. Or keep us that way, or something resembling sanity.

So, I will continue to write. Whether or not I place myself on display will still be up for debate. Or should I say whenever I decide to put myself back on display, is up for debate.  There’s still this need in me to express myself in a way that invites people to take pieces of me to examine. But the sooner this story is out of me, it will no longer “threatening the life it belongs to” (Anna Nalick, Breathe (2 am)).

So many cool points if you got that reference.

Until next we meet

Bleed and Exist,

S. Hollisway

Click here to pick up Scarred and Faceless

Previous Blog Post

Because sometimes business meetings are everyday….

Stones,

This morning I woke up with the fear of presenting a business plan to a bank for a loan for a business venture. I woke up early, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and twisted out my hair. In the process of all the hair fluffing and talking myself up in the mirror, I began thought about what outfit would make me feel the most confident. I picked a black dress with grey accents with pockets because a dress with pockets is the gift that keeps giving. Suddenly, I got a phone call rescheduling my meeting. It felt like someone had deflated my balloon and emptied my bucket.

I plopped down on the bed disappointed. I had done all these things to make myself feel beautiful and confident and it had gone to waste. Although, it really had not.

I felt very good about my appearance and the way I looked. I got up early enough to not rush and could pick out my look for the day. I had enough time to recite my affirmations to build and inner glow I took with me all day. I got dressed and had a much more productive day.

I say all that, to say this. If you or I or everyone woke up every morning like it they were preparing for a business meeting, there may be a change in mindset. Not a business meeting you are frazzled and stressed out about, but one you are prepared for. One that you own and fills your stomach with butterflies of happiness and excitement. Dress for a business meeting everyday. Then go out and make yourself proud.

Until next we meet

Bleed and Exist,

S. Hollisway

Scarred and Faceless