Because sometimes it’s too much….

Stones,

Let’s admit it, as exciting as life can be it’s exhausting. Good times or bad, life has a way of draining the life out of us. It’s inevitable, so what can we do to ease the pain? We could commit ourselves to institution for safe keeping, (ill advised). We could live recklessly embracing life with no worry of tomorrow, (also ill advised). Or we could do something even scarier, live for ourselves.

I know we all may be thinking that we do live for ourselves already, but stop and think. When we sign up for that extra math class we hate or eat that salad instead of steak or use the fat free low calorie yogurt instead of the regular kind, who are we living for? Are we happy with our decisions?

We know our families and friends mean well but the best thing about advice is it’s like a buffet, we can take what we need and leave the rest at the table. They may mean well but we know ourselves. We know what we need and what will make us happy. And what won’t.

If the issue is deeper, like someone said something years ago that hurts you and changed your perspective on things. For example, someone said you don’t look good in yellow so you always stick to black. Or someone made a “harmless” comment about your weight that you haven’t healed from. Things like that are difficult to get over because the little seeds of hatred and self doubt start to grow roots. The rooms take him hold and grow into withering plants of self hatred. I know that it can get hard to get rid of. But right here right now, it’s time to let go.

Sounds impossible right, imagine this: Imagine going to that plant everyday and digging off one root up each day. Just one. One root. Imagine the roots don’t grow back after being pulled. Now if you did this every day, soon the plant would be powerless. That’s what we should do. Debulk one myth everyday. This myth could be one we’ve been told or one we tell ourselves. I say “myth” because although they feel like truths clingling to our skins, they aren’t.

I’m ugly. I’m fat. I’m not good enough.

So what will be your new truth? Will you debulk your plant of doubt?

Until next we meet

Bleed and Exist,

S. Hollisway

Be sure to pick up your copy of Scarred and Faceless

Because sometimes being selfish is okay….

Stones,

Would you describe yourself as selfish? How many times have you been called selfish? What was the immediate reaction, to defend yourself? Why?

Who says being selfish is a bad thing? I’m not convinced. See, the definition of selfish is *”concerned chiefly with one’s own profit or pleasure”. So, what’s wrong with that?

Admittedly, being over selfish is not good, much like everything else in life in excess. But being concerned with one’s own pleasure isn’t called being selfish. It’s called self preservation.

Taking time to do self care isn’t selfish. Taking to time to rejuvenate isn’t selfish. Replenishing and putting onself first to keep going the next day isn’t selfish. Running out of a burning building before everyone else isn’t selfish. And if it is, then be a bit more selfish.

Be selfish with your time. Be selfish with your energy. Be selfish with tears. Be selfish with emotions. Be okay before giving to anyone else. Be selfish for your own well being. Be selfish and save yourself, then the rest of the world.

Until we meet again

Bleed and Exist,

S. Hollisway

Scarred and Faceless

Because sometimes business meetings are everyday….

Stones,

This morning I woke up with the fear of presenting a business plan to a bank for a loan for a business venture. I woke up early, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and twisted out my hair. In the process of all the hair fluffing and talking myself up in the mirror, I began thought about what outfit would make me feel the most confident. I picked a black dress with grey accents with pockets because a dress with pockets is the gift that keeps giving. Suddenly, I got a phone call rescheduling my meeting. It felt like someone had deflated my balloon and emptied my bucket.

I plopped down on the bed disappointed. I had done all these things to make myself feel beautiful and confident and it had gone to waste. Although, it really had not.

I felt very good about my appearance and the way I looked. I got up early enough to not rush and could pick out my look for the day. I had enough time to recite my affirmations to build and inner glow I took with me all day. I got dressed and had a much more productive day.

I say all that, to say this. If you or I or everyone woke up every morning like it they were preparing for a business meeting, there may be a change in mindset. Not a business meeting you are frazzled and stressed out about, but one you are prepared for. One that you own and fills your stomach with butterflies of happiness and excitement. Dress for a business meeting everyday. Then go out and make yourself proud.

Until next we meet

Bleed and Exist,

S. Hollisway

Scarred and Faceless

Because sometimes a death wish is a part of the package….

Stones,

I read a while ago that humans have a death wish.  Not necessarily wanting to die in a literally sense, but just an absence of living. We pay our homage to death by watching hours of TV or Netflix, eating over processed GMO riddled food, not being active etc.  

This is an interesting theory. If humans do indeed have a death wish and kill themselves slowly, I’d have to ask…why? Why is it that we limit ourselves from living full lives? Who, then, decides what a full life is? What stick is life measured by? Are all full lives rich and successful? Or are some humble and humane?

My point being, Stones, live a full life. Live YOUR full life. Don’t let others define what makes you great. I’ve been struggling with that lately. Living inside neat little boxes others have made for me. Well I’m busting out and breaking free. So should you. Be happy, healthy, humble, and humane. Let that be the measuring stick of life.

Until next we talk,

Bleed and Exist,

S.Hollisway

Scarred and Faceless