I don’t care the intention, I just want you to know. My self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go”-Icon for Hire
I feel like I have rewritten this a thousand times trying to find the words to express my intentions and who I am. The irony that I am a writer that is at a lost for words is not lost on me. I’ve tried to find the perfect word combination and I’m convinced that they don’t exist. If words were perfect, then everyone would express themselves and the world would be a better place. So, at the risk of rambling further, this is what I came up with.
Welcome Stones! This is a safe haven for all creative souls, lost and aimlessly wandering in a sea of normalcy. To those who have been labeled “weird”, “strange”, or “different”; I am here to rip off that negative stereotype and label you “passionate” because that’s what we are. People like us were created to adapt and thrive where most are complacent and only exist to survive.
My pen name is S. Hollisway, the S standing for Shaye. The name comes partially from my artistic muse and mentor for the majority of my adult life and one of my literary inspirations, Ernest Hemingway. Arguably not the greatest role model to have because of his controversial lifestyle but he was an amazing writer. I can never remember a time when I didn’t use writing as a way to express myself. I never had a voice, so I wrote. I wrote so that others could hear me scream.
For the last 20 plus years, I’ve been living with the choices I’ve made. The decisions to take the easy way out though tempting always proved futile. The tough decisions, the ones that no one wants to make, the ones that leave the type of wounds that never go away, you know the ones. I hate those. So much so that every time I thought I dodged one, another one would pop up in its place with a severity much greater than the first. I am stubborn and hard-headed and always has to learn everything the hard way.
Through writing, I found a way to cope. I found a way to organize the insanity that was my mind. I could take all the pain, hurt, and bone-crushing pressure that comes with existing and pull it out of me. I did not have to live in a suffocating silence anymore. Writing did that for me.
I’d like to say I have figured this all out but I still haven’t. However, I have learned what’s important to me. Being the best mom I can be, finding my passion, mental health, surviving current events, to name a few. I also want to document and share this writing journey with you and hopefully inspire other writers who want to do this professionally. I believe that the higher one climbs, they should be able to pull others up and that’s what I intend to do. In days like this, total transparency is key.
So to all of my lovely and passionate Stones, that you for joining me on this disaster called life. I hope you stick around and enjoy the ride.
Bleed and Exist,
FB Page: S.Hollisway